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I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (via story-dj)

We spend life doing a daily routine. They say we should try something new everyday, but most of us rarely get that chance. We have no choice but to do everything we can do to survive, meaning paying for all the necessities or trying to find a way to. Money doesn’t buy happiness? It sure seems like it in this world. We get stuck in a routine doing the same thing everyday of our lives. Life gets dull and life gets boring, I guess it is what it is. But I’m sick of just getting by. There has to be something I’m not seeing. It’s time to finally try those things you’ve been wanting to try for years. That time is now, it’s not tomorrow or the next day, it’s now. It’s time to forget about responsibility and problems, it’s time to just breathe and feel the breeze and know that you are alive. It’s time to make this life yours. It’s time. #thislifeisyours #behappy #smile #laugh #breathe #motivation #inspiration #dontgiveup #lovelife #beyou #liveyourlife #justlive

I miss you more than I should.

And even after all this time. After all this pain and this confusion and this hatred. I still miss you. It’s been a year and I can’t get you out of my mind. Every little thing I see somehow reminds me of you. When I wake up and see the sun I think of you calling me sunshine. When I drive by the places we went I see us sitting there, holding hands and talking. When I turn on the radio I think of us sitting in your car just wasting time listening to music. When I go to the stores we went to I see us laughing and walking down the aisles we would go to. I see you sitting on my couch looking at me. When I watch the movies we watched together I imagine that we are holding hands and laying next to each other. When I see other couples laughing and kissing and holding hands I think of us. I see you in everything. I miss you. I miss everything about you. The way you would look at me, the way you would kiss me and hold my hand. The way you cared when I was sad. But the reason we have none of this anymore is because of you. Because you lied to me about every little thing. You did not tell me the truth once. And while you were saying those words that made me fall for you, you were telling them to more people besides myself. You lied to all of us. And the thought of me never ever being able to see you again breaks my heart even more. I will never be able to see you smile again. I will never be able to hug you again. I will never be able to hold your hand again. I will never get to fall asleep in your arms again. I will never get to see you again. And I hate myself because even though you never loved me, even though you lied to me about everything. Even though you killed me, I still want to take care of you. I still want to make sure you are ok and that no one hurts you. I still want to protect you from everything. And the sad thing is, is that you were the only person who truly knew me, I told you everything and you were always there. And right now even though you put me through all this shit I need to talk to you. I need to be able to tell you how I am feeling. I need to talk to you and be able to cry in your arms as you hug me and tell me it’s going to be ok. And I know that you would be lying and I know that you wouldn’t truly care and I know that you wouldn’t want to be holding me while I cry because you don’t care but I just need it. I just need to be held and told its going to be ok even if its a lie. Even though you were the worst thing that ever happened to me, a part of me still needs you.

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